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I am a Christian, I am not religious

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For many years in my search for redemption, I needed others to be the hand of God to me. To let me know that if things didn’t work out, they would stand with me even if I stopped believing. I could not bear the responsibility for making sure my pain would eventually be turned into something that would make God look good. What I really needed to know was that in spite of my pain, I would be okay even if things never turned around. Redemption has been misunderstood. Modern Christianity defines redemption as ‘’A state of existence in which the faithful to God receives what they expect to receive out of life and out of God more like getting the desires of one’s heart. When this caricature of redemption becomes the hallmark of our faith it creates a real problem for us and for others. It becomes difficult to approach God outside the context of getting what we want. It leads to either disillusionment with God or a petty and shallow faith experience. When God doesn’t wipe the sla...
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Is Daddy really a Father to his family?

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Ask any father what he wants most out of life, and he will look at you in surprise. Obviously, he wants a good home and security for his family, the chance to give his children a good education and at least a comfortable roof over their heads. He wants to experience the happiness and pride in shaping healthy, balanced, educated children and he will give his time- too much of his time- working to that end. Yet unconsciously, he is expecting 100 per cent return on his six per cent investment. For in too many cases Dad isn’t a father to his family at all. His sense of closely knit family life, of love, kinship and devotion, is half hearted. He is too often the star boarder, the paying guest, wanting his home run like a commercial hotel- not like a wigwam full of excited demanding kids. It is a curious thing what a multitude of male beings there are who think that the mere physical act of producing children somehow has given them miraculous exemption from the neces...
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30 WILL NEVER BE THE NEW 29½

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Telomere decreases as we age. We tend to face aging with "FEEL GOOD SLOGANS", bringing platitudes to a knife fight. "I'm 30 years young!" we say ignoring the fact that, going by average age life expectancy it wont be long before we're 98 years dead. "Thirty is the new 20", we tell ourselves when the mathematical reality is no, it's not. 30 will never be the new 29½ BOOM!      Then comes a bit of wisdom that, if anything seems like the most shopworn of all, you are only as old as you feel and as sentiments go, it has the twin flaws of being both banal and blaming-as if feeling old is your own fault. It turns out however, that whoever coined the one may have been unto something big. It's also no secret anymore that the familiar mind-body divide, with your head home to abstract and ethereal and your flesh home to messy and mechanical is nonsense. Your moods, feelings and thoughts all influence your physiology. Learn to relax and your bl...
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Mismatched SEXPECTATIONS...

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In every relationship there's bound to be a few nights where someone just isn't in the mood, but who's keeping score? One man apparently was, and he took sex tracking to new heights when he emailed his wife a spreadsheet detailing when and why she turned him down for sex over a seven-week period. Incensed at his offensive use of Excel (who wouldn't be?)   Some of the reasons for rejection may have seemed silly (like being tired from driving in Lagos traffic for hours or just feeling gross), but they're definitely relatable (for men and women). And regardless, it's disrespectful to shame your partner for not wanting sex at a certain time. Obviously, this guy's approach is not the best way to address the lack of sex in a relationship. That said, it's a very real problem for many couples and it can definitely be hard to talk about. But instead of resorting to offensive charts, here are four better ways to bring up this touchy subject and get your se...
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TO MY HUSBAND ON YOUR BIRTHDAY...

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Today is my hubby's birthday and he is at work. I am too, before nko! But you know what? That’s not going to stop me from wishing him a very happy birthday. In fact, it’s prompted me to write a letter to him and oga I do hope you find time out of your busy schedule to read this letter. I’ll write it here, because the rest of the world deserves to know how awesome you are.  Dear hubby, Today is your birthday! Do you feel old yet? No? Good, because you’re not allowed to get old yet. We haven’t had kids, so you have to stay young and active and funny and silly until you’re at least 40…no, 50...no, 80. Whatever. This is your first birthday we are celebrating as a married couple and I intend to make it count. Your last birthday was fun too but *jeeeez* I cooked all day and almost forgot to pick up your cake but eventually it all turned out so nice. Your friends came around, we talked and laughed till late at night and I remember them commending me for my...
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FEARS OF MY IMPENDING ROLE...

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When I saw Joe* my stomach lurched. The last time I'd seen him was 5 years ago. The day I fired him. Time is unkind to all but seemed especially unkind to Joe. His face was etched with lines and his eyes, once bright, were flat and lifeless. He shuffled over and I hesitantly reached to shake his hand. "Hi Joe," I said. "How are you?" He glanced away. "I guess I'm doing all right," he said. Then he asked to borrow a thousand naira. I was the Human Resource Manager in 2010 when our department implemented an employee-empowerment program designed to shift as much responsibility as possible down to the team level. In time, employee committees became responsible for scheduling vacations, evaluating team members, and making hiring decisions, and we became coaches and "facilitators" rather than managers. I definitely supported it. I started on the shop floor, so I know employees at every level are always capable of handling...
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Meet the One who Complements Me...

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I used to find it hard to believe when people tell their stories of how they met their partners on social media, I just YINMU at them and say to myself this is never going to last. I remember back in the days at my church (Olorunda Methodist Church), there was this lady who got married to someone she met on facebook. We gathered after the church wedding ceremony to gossip about her, of how extremely handsome the husband is, how he might have married a white woman and how he might just be a scamer who lives in the UK *chei* may God forgive us (Amen). Fast forward to 2010 and my views about social media dating has changed. *covering my face* Yes back to the topic for today's post. I met him on a Facebook group that later evolved to a blackberry group. In the group we talk about everything from politics to relationships, marriage, family, education, entertainment, career, health, sexuality e.t.c. He was more or less the class clown. He never takes any issue apart from politics ...
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